Monday, March 29, 2010

Beyonce pregnant confirmed is actually for her dad

"Beyoncé pregnant confirmed" is not something you should see on respectable news publications, says sources close to the superstar singer. It's only gossip, possibly wishful thinking on the part of Beyonce and Jay-Z fans, but certainly nothing malevolent. The truth is that Beyonce's father, 58-year-old Herman Knowles, is the one that's expecting – but not with Tina Knowles, Beyonce's mother. Their 30-year marriage ended in November 2009, when they filed for divorce. Fathering kids outside of wedlock is inclined to cause divorce, kids. Divorce tends to cause an inordinate need for payday loans. Learn well, young Padawan; the cash you conserve could be your own.

So Beyonce pregnant confirmed isn't actually confirmed, right?

But the truth never gets in the way of a good Internet rumor, does it? Buzzcrunch reports that "the singer recently got the great news and has decided to rest a bit," according to a source "close to the couple.” Again, sounds reasonable, except we know that “Beyoncé pregnant confirmed” has been shot down by her people. Matthew Knowles' love child was conceived during his marriage with Tina Knowles, and now his people are shooting for damage control. Beyoncé and Solange must be proud. If you are able to imagine them filming a commercial promoting the virtues of military personal loans, you likely are able to imagine them hanging out with baby mama Alexandra Wright, dishing men and having a grand old time.

What do you learn about Matthew Knowles' baby?

The Daily Inquirer says that DNA tests have proven paternity of Mr. Knowles. Nixon is the newborn's name, and the mother, Alexandra Wright, has been with Matthew Knowles for about 18 months now. Nixon is now officially the most famous living Nixon, leading former Major League outfielders Trot Nixon, Otis Nixon and Donnell Nixon by a wide margin. The other famous Nixon had his supporters, particularly at the Watergate Hotel. But he can no longer respond to press inquiries.



No comments: